


There’s No Underwear In Space

by Melifair



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Banter, Exhibitionism, F/M, Frottage, Sass, Star Wars Costume Party, a bit of, this thing was so much fun to write!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 04:39:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14866779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melifair/pseuds/Melifair
Summary: Of course Steve and Darcy decide to dress up as the iconic duo of Han and Leia for a private Avengers May the Fourth party...just with a sexy little twist that blows everyone’s minds.





	There’s No Underwear In Space

**Author's Note:**

> Ok guys!!!!!!! Here’s it is!!!!!!!!! 
> 
> As usual, I’m an anxious ball of nerves in posting this even though I had an absolute blast writing it ;)
> 
> My inspiration was this amazing cosplay: http://melifair.tumblr.com/post/173783533680/mcgregorswench-melifair-mcgregorswench
> 
> The source is Instagram, as you can see at the bottom of the link. And it’s a pretty cool Instagram :)
> 
> I do want to thank everyone who encouraged me to write this thing when the plot bunny bit. I especially want to thank @pandolfo-malatesta and @catrinaslfor proofing this thing! I have been staring at it everyday for the last few weeks and I missed some things lol! Thank you ladies for helping me whip it into shape ;)
> 
> Without further ado…here we go! I hope you all enjoy!

“Holy fucking sugar bears.”

 

This was just too perfect. Just too awesomely and outrageously perfect. The internet, in all her questionable glory and wisdom, had blessed Darcy with the most perfect of ideas. One that had her practically vibrating with excitement at the prospect of what it could offer if it became reality...actually more like when it became a reality. And it was only a click away! And only...fuck...$199 for the set...

 

But it was absolutely worth it. So she keyed in the card number that she knew by heart -which wasn’t necessarily a good thing, as evidenced by her monthly bank statement; but hey, it was handy.

 

It was kinda exhilarating because the whole thing depended on Steve and his willingness to go along with it. For what she had in mind anyway. Or for what she had in mind initially. If he wasn’t comfortable with her plan, then she just spent two hundred bucks on something for the bedroom.

 

“Darcy?” She heard the quiet click of the door to their apartment.

 

“Hey babe,” she called out to him, knowing that he’d follow the sound of her voice, “found our costumes for the Star Wars party!”

 

“I thought you were gonna make them?” he asked once he reached the bedroom, tossing his jacket over the chair in the corner and pulling his shirt over his head to toss in the laundry pile.

 

He kicked off his shoes before crawling on the bed to lay on his side next to her where she sat cross legged with her laptop. She felt the scruff of his beard, and the warmth of his lips on her knee where he pressed a kiss.

 

“Well, I was...I might still, for backup, but…” She hugged her laptop to her, nervous about how he would react to her purchase, so she figured she had to butter him up a little. If she posed it as a challenge, he’d be more likely to accept, at least she hoped.

 

“This would be beyond epic. Like we...well, mostly you...would blow everybody’s minds.”

 

He raised a brow, his face wearing an expression she’d seen many times. The one that was wary and amused...and wary again because he knew he could never say no to her. And even more amused at his wariness because he knew he could never say no to her.

 

“Okaaay...” He pushed up to a half lounging sit to get a better view of the computer screen that was being hugged tightly to her chest, and asked hesitantly, “What exactly would blow everyone’s minds?”

 

She started to show him, but hugged the computer back to her boobs. “Remember, this is a private, just friends, no strangers party...”

 

She continued at his nod.

 

“Well, so...remember when we said we’d be Han and Leia?”

 

She kept going at his now slightly confused and concerned nod.

 

“So, we would still go as Han and Leia. Just...I’d be Han, and you’d be...” She flipped the screen over slowly.

 

He didn’t say anything for a minute, though his eyes widened and his brows shot up. Clearly he did not expect the costume she had picked.

 

The silence was just starting to border on too long, but he finally cleared his throat, and said, “...Naked?”

 

The costume in question was a male version of the Princess Leia gold bikini. Just, there was less of it. It was, in all honesty, a long, gauzy loincloth, and even the model sporting it in the photo was doing things for her. To the point where her brain was already supplying her with mental image upon mental image of Steve spectacularly bare--except for the glorified loincloth, of course.

 

“Not completely,” she laughed as she clicked on the back view option, “see, there’s dick and ass coverage.”

 

That got a laugh out of him. “But look at the sides! If I step wrong or lean over, everyone will see...” He gestured towards his crotch.

 

She clicked through the multiple points of view that demonstrated how the costume fit, for marketing purposes mostly she was sure.

 

“Look!” She found a view that might tip the scales in her favor. “Here. See, there’s a g-string underneath to keep lil Steve concealed.”

 

His cheeks (the ones on his face)turned a nice shade of pink.

 

“A string...up my...” He squirmed a bit. Even his chest had flushed.

 

“It’s all part of the illusion, babe.”

 

He coughed a laugh. “I see that.”

 

“And look at this!” She clicked on the costume she’d be wearing, knowing that despite the fact that she’d be more covered up than him, he wouldn’t be able to resist the thought of her in it.

 

As expected, he got that look on his face when something turned him on.

 

“So...” She gave him her most hopeful faces. “I’m not above trading kinky sex favors so you’d grace everyone in all your almost-naked glory. Because it would honestly be amazing!”

 

He laughed, a true unabashed laugh. Something he didn’t do very often, and was a delight to see and hear.

 

“Let’s do it.” His voice was decisive, but his face still held a crooked grin. “And just so you know, you never have to bribe me with sex.”

 

“Oh, I know. I was also kinda banking on your subtle troll-like tendencies.”

 

“Sweetheart, this...” He pointed to the costumes on the screen. “…is far from subtle.”

 

“That’s why it’s going to blow everyone’s minds.” She set the computer aside, sliding closer to him, her fingers stroking lightly over his chest, “And speaking of blowing minds...”

 

He laughed, soft and low. “That’s not very subtle either, doll.”

 

Her fingers made their way to his belt, “Mmmm, that’s the idea, hot stuff.”

 

—————————————————-

 

The May the Fourth party was only a few days away and Darcy was worried that she would actually have to crop up some half-assed homemade costumes if their shipment didn’t arrive in time. And she really didn’t want to do that. She really had her heart set on the costumes that she ordered. Well, her heart and her libido.

 

Thankfully, though, there was a notice for a large package pickup in their mailbox.

 

Normally she hated going down for package retrieval, but not this time. It was like a birthday surprise where she already knew what the surprise was. It was almost like the last time she had ordered a special toy! And she couldn’t wait to get it back to their apartment for not dissimilar reasons.

 

Steve had texted to tell her he was on his way home, and she sent a text back with a picture of the box containing their costumes. The very one she busted open the minute she hit send.

 

One thing she was curious to see was exactly how the g-string worked on Steve’s ensemble. Most notably, she was curious to see how roomy it was. Because there was quite a bit of him to fit in.

 

She was growing increasingly giddy as she handled the material-- which, she was pleased to find, had a little stretch and give, particularly in the crotch. One of the other concerns she had had was that the quality wouldn’t reflect the price, but so far that wasn’t the case and it was looking to be a sound investment for their grand entrance to the party. And beyond. As in the bedroom. Because they would absolutely be incorporating it into their personal play.

 

Her own costume, with far more coverage than Steve’s, was really nice in person. The fabric of the shirt was thin and it looked like it was meant to stretch over the girls to maximize her cleavage, which she could live with, because it also came with the vest and the pants that were a thicker, more authentic-looking material.

 

She laid both of the costumes out on the bed and had just finished smoothing out any wrinkles when she heard the door and Steve call out that he was home. She could hardly contain her excitement as she shouted back, “Get in here and get naked!”

 

He chuckled lowly as he entered the room. “Going by the text I got, I assume getting naked doesn’t mean what it usually means...”

 

She reached out for him, beckoning him to come closer, which he did eagerly, though she had a feeling it had nothing to do with the costumes. Once he was close, she stood on her tip toes to press a lingering kiss to his lips, while she went straight for his belt.

“Well, no, not right now, but maybe after we try the costumes.”

 

He laughed as he pulled his shirt over his head, letting her do her magic on his belt. She was very adept at undoing his belt and working down the zipper of his jeans. And that very moment was no exception.

 

“Maybe?”

 

She helped him shuck the jeans, his boxer briefs along with them. At some point he got rid ofhis shoes, but she couldn’t say when, as she really wasn’t paying that much attention to his feet.

 

“Okay, definitely.”

 

He had a crooked grin on his face, and the kind of heated looked he got in his eyes when he was horny. And one thing Darcy knew was when her man was horny.

 

Sure enough, she let her gaze slide down his body, appreciating the softness of his skin over the taut and cut muscles and the dusting of dark golden hair that trailed down and down, when she noticed that his dick was slightly aroused. Which could pose a problem getting him into the costume. That, and now she was all hot and bothered.

 

“For fuck’s sake, Steve...”

 

He laughed, a low rumble--not enough to be obnoxious, because he certainly wasn’t the type to be obnoxious, but just enough to show that he had some pride in his body - and she wouldn’t fault him that. In fact, she would only absolutely encourage him feeling good and desirable and confident. Truth be told, outside of being veritable physical perfection, he tended to only be confident in what his body could do since the serum. He thought more in terms of function over form, and sometimes still struggled with confidence in how he looked, and in his sexuality.

 

And in all honesty, she knew that he was doing the whole costume thing for her. They both knew that it was somewhat out of his comfort zone, but he would pretty much do anything to make her happy. She also had an inkling that her whole ‘blow everyone’s minds’ pitch helped. Not only because it was true, but also because sometimes he was a little shit. He usually went about it subtly, but he had a mischievous side of him that was itching to stir the pot, especially with certain people they knew who assumed he always had a stick up his ass.

 

And the best thing was that Steve tended to let people assume what they wanted about him, no matter how much they stereotyped, or how much it bothered him. In his mind, there were more important things to worry over. What people thought of him was low on his list of concerns. So much so that he spent years as a most wanted fugitive.

 

“I can’t help feelin’ a way when my girl tells me to get naked.”

 

She couldn’t help but snort, or the flush that spread across her cheeks. “Oh. My. God. You are such a cornball!”

 

“I know.” He smiled, a smile that was softer and more intense all at once. The type of smile that only spoke of invitation and a shift in the mood from playful to something a little more intimate.

 

Not that being completely bare before her while she was still completely dressed wasn’t intimate, but the mood had shifted to something a little more quiet and tender, though the playfulness between them was not lost.

 

His breathing hitched when she lightly and teasingly raked her fingers over his stomach and up his chest, paying special care to pass over his nipples with a flick of her thumbs. She felt his hands then pulling her in, his own fingers slipping under the hem of her shirt to caress the soft skin there, and he licked his lips before pressing a leisurely kiss to hers. The kind that melted into a deeper, more open kiss. That made her dizzy in the best way.

 

They didn’t kiss like this in public. Mainly because she tended to turn limp and pliant in his arms, just letting herself succumb to the sensations of his warm lips, scruffy beard, and tongue that did very impure things to her. The one time she taught him a kissing trick--a little thing where she licked along his lips and the moment his parted, nipped softly with her teeth before pressing in and caressing his tongue with her own - and damned if he didn’t pick up on it and turn it back on her with outstanding proficiency.

 

It was a triple whammy of sensations that had gotten Steve all worked up the first time she did it to him. And it most certainly was working on her now, sending all the most tantalizing of tingles down to her lady bits. Her brain was so focused on the sensation of his tongue against her tongue, that she slumped towards his body. And the only thing keeping her from collapsing on the floor into a puddle of thoroughly kissed goo was her own natural instinct to slide her hands up over his shoulders and neck, card her fingers through his hair, and hold on tight. His hands helped too. Helped to lift her up his body and guide her legs to wrap around his waist, where she could definitely feel his now full arousal.

 

Only when her back met the plush comforter on their bed did her senses become just a little bit less sex-addled.

 

“Steve!” she gasped, causing him to stop and push back, a fearful expression on his face, like he might have hurt her. Despite the numerous times she had reassured him that he wouldn’t hurt her, he still had that little fear.

 

“The costumes!”

 

He gave her an incredulous look before dropping his forehead down to her chest. She could briefly glimpse a grin before the only thing she could see was his mussed-up hair, but she could definitely feel his body shake with laughter. When he looked back up, he shook his head and kissed the tip of her nose.

 

“They’re safe, you scoundrel.”

 

The warm presence of his hand on her thigh - even through the thin fabric of her leggings - disappeared, and she noticed a movement to her right, as he grabbed the costumes and singlehandedly tossed them onto the chair across the room with amazing accuracy. She was already wet and aching, but now she was sure he could feel how affected she was as he ground against her, his cock rubbing against her clit just so, while the light seam of her practically ruined leggings making her gasp now for an entirely different reason.

 

“I’m the scoundrel?” She feigned incredulity, but her amusement at his ability to remember specific canonical details from the freaking movie overrode any attempt. That and the need for sex to happen, and for it to happen soon.

 

“Well, Leia certainly isn’t.” He replied cheekily and ground his hips again in a slow torturous rhythm.

 

She raised a brow, and went to respond but only managed a wrecked moan as his thrusts continued. What he was doing felt so good that she was well past caring how wantonly she was spread for him as he slid the length of his dick between her folds even through the damp fabric.

 

“More...” she urged him on, pulling his hair to bring his lips closer to hers.

 

He growled, gently biting her lower lip. “I’m gonna make a mess if we keep going like this, sweetheart.”

 

His right arm was braced on the bed in just a way that his hand cradled her head with his fingers threaded through her hair. With his other hand, he pushed up the hem of her shirt and played his thumb across the peak of her nipple through the satin of her bra.

 

“Don’t care,” she whispered, her voice just a bit too wrought for anything louder.

 

She closed her eyes when his thrusts pressed harder and just let herself feel every delicious movement of his body against hers. Steve’s chest was flush with hers now - his happy trail tickling the sensitive skin of her bared tummy with each new push of his hips - and the hand that had rucked up her shirt to tease her breast now trailed down and to grasp her thigh and press it back so her hips shifted their position and the length of his cock nestled even more firmly along her slit.

 

He kissed her cheek, just below her eye, and tucked his forehead into her hair, and she could feel his warm breath panting heavily on her neck as she hugged him close.

 

“Steve...please, Steve...”

 

He whined a groan, grinding for all he was worth against her pussy, “Oh god...”

 

The angle and the pressure was just right, with every drag of his hard cock causing the walls of her pussy to clench. She could feel herself getting closer and closer to orgasm each time her inner muscles tightened. She just needed a bit more.

 

It was more instinctual than anything when her hands moved to his ass. He loved when she grabbed his ass during sex. Like she could push him further, harder. And this time was no exception. It didn’t even matter that he wasn’t actually inside her. Her man got the serious go when she touched his ass.

 

His motions were becoming more erratic, and his broken, keening moans increased in frequency and volume. But the best part was his face. His face was a thing of beauty when he was on the verge of coming. He had pushed up just enough to look at her the moment her hands dug into the tight muscles of his ass. He was a study in unrepentant bliss. When he let himself go, letting his brain just not think for once and the pleasure to overwhelm him completely.

 

“I’m...Steve...fuck!” The words she was trying to say, trying but could quite string together, died on her tongue as she came.

 

Steve was right there with her, taking a few more stilted but hard thrusts before his hand tightened in her hair and his eyes fluttered closed. His mouth was open, but he could only let out a strangled, nearly silent groan as he came, the wet, warmth of his cum spilling between their bodies.

 

She reactively kissed at his bottom lip and he slowly melted into it, his tongue seeking hers as he came back down from his pleasure high. Neither of them moved right away, just enjoying the closeness. She wasn’t in a hurry to move, even though they would definitely need a shower. She could go again, and she knew for certain Steve could too.

 

“Looks like I was the scoundrel after all.” He gave a crooked little smile, nothing cocky, though not entirely bashful either. He reluctantly moved off of her, but reached for her hand to pull her up.

 

She grinned back at him, letting him pull her up and close again, despite their mess. “Well, I do need more scoundrels in my life”

 

He huffed a laugh, hands settling on her hips. “Hopefully just me.”

 

She laughed and swatted at his chest. “Yes, you big giant nerd.”

 

“Takes one to know one, sweetheart.”

 

Before she knew it he had scooped her up, a big fat smile on his face, and headed to the bathroom.

 

——————————————————

 

“Oh wow.”

 

Steve was wearing the thing. And it was far better than anything her imagination has conjured up. Which was saying something because she had a very healthy imagination.

 

They were in one of the spare rooms of Tony’s penthouse where the party was being held. Both of them had just changed into their costumes because there was no way she was going to let any paparazzi snap a pic of Steve dressed...well, barely dressed, so they brought the costumes with them instead of wearing them in public. This party was for them. These costumes were for them. Well, for them and to blow their friends minds.

 

Nevertheless it was a private affair, not something to be spread across the internet. Darcy wasn’t too worried about their friends leaking anything, except possibly Tony. But she had enough to hold over his head that even if he so much as thought about ‘sharing’ any mostly-nude Steve on the webs, he would regret it for life.

 

For his part, Steve absolutely put the model in the online advertisement to shame. Even on a bad day he looked like a work of classical art, but this...just exceeded any and all expectations her brain had plied her with in anticipation of this whole thing. She let out a sigh of admiration as she feasted her eyes.

 

 

“Enjoying yourself?” His brows were raised in amusement and the corner of his mouth quirked up charmingly.

 

“Shush and let me get it out of my system.”

 

He laughed, but couldn’t suppress the flush the spread across his body. Mostly his face and chest, but still.

 

The bikini-skirt-loincloth thing looked like it was tailor-made to fit his body. There wasn’t much of it to begin with, but what was there rested just on his hips and accentuated the cut of his musculature to perfection. Especially that v shape that his abdominal muscles tapered down to, where his narrow hips and long legs met his torso.

 

Speaking of those hips...they were essentially bared with the exception of a few gold straps holding the front and back of the costume in place.

 

The first time they tried the costumes on, Darcy had been eager, if a bit concerned about Steve’s commitment to wearing his, what with the g-string and all. But he laughed it off— - even if he was a bit pink in the face about having a string up his ass crack— - saying that it was ‘only a little less than what he wore on tour for the USO.’ With that reassurance, she was able to breathe a little easier, considering that she didn’t have a backup plan ready (even though she had said that she would). All her hopes were riding on the little bits of gold and cloth, and seeing him now, she was not disappointed.

 

“You keep looking at me like that and we might not make the party.” He said with a knowing smirk.

 

She snorted a laugh, tugging on the thin top under the vest of her Han Solo costume. It kept riding up on her stomach. Which was the point of her costume. But still, she rarely exposed her midriff in public.

 

Steve closed the space between them, his fingers reaching out to caress the skin exposed just above the waist of her pants and she looked up to find him smiling warmly at her.

 

“You know, I’m not that crazy about the string up my...” He glanced backwards, before grinning back at her. “…but now I’m all dressed up and ready to go. It’d make my day to blow some minds to make my girl happy.”

 

She blushed a bit, fleeing the warmth flood her own cheeks, and she reached up to cup his scruffy jaw., “It can’t be comfortable,” she told him. “I know you said you were okay with this, but we really don’t have to...”

 

Steve shook his head. “I kinda want to see everyone’s reactions.”

 

“Yeah?” Darcy asked, searching his eyes to make sure that he was doing this for more than

just her.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Darcy grinned. “Any predictions?”

 

“Predictions?” He tilted his head, like an adorable puppy.

 

An adorable puppy man, dressed as a sexy Princess Leia.

 

“Yeah, like, how they’re gonna react. Because there’s gotta be at least one person spitting out a drink.”

 

He laughed at that.

 

“At least one.” He kissed her forehead, then her nose, and finally her lips. “Ready?”

 

Darcy drew her blaster and bobbed her eyebrows at him. “Only if you are.”

 

—————————————-

 

They somehow managed to make it up to Tony’s penthouse without being seen. Though that wasn’t necessarily reassuring, considering the building was designed around a tech genius who had a very precocious AI that could potentially capture Steve’s slightly more than half-naked image.

 

So he wore the bathrobe Darcy had gotten him the previous Christmas. She had had it specially made for his height and how broad her was in the shoulder. At first he was uncertain about it, generally preferring to just towel dry after a shower and throw on some sweatpants. But the one time the laundry hadn’t gotten done when it was supposed to, he was out of clean things to wear around their place. In any case, she had stuffed it in the bag carrying their costumes so he’d have something to cover up with before the big reveal.

 

“Last chance, babe.” They were holding hands as they approached, and she squeezed his in reassurance.

 

He smiled, squeezing back. “I’m fine, sweetheart.” His other hand went to the sash that tied his robe closed, and she let go so he could shrug it off. “Besides, I don’t want to waste all of this build up just to back out now?”

 

“I know.” Darcy sighed as she folded the robe over her arm. “I just...feel like I kinda steamrolled you into this.”

 

He smiled and reached out to pull her closer, lifting her chin and lightly tracing her jaw with his thumb. “Doll, if I didn’t want to do this, I’d say so.”

 

She raised her eyebrows, but grinned back, and nodded. “You must be itching to mess with everyone, huh?”

 

His face was full-on mischievous. “As you always say, let’s fuck this shit up.”

 

She couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her in delight, and she looped her arm in his as they exited the elevator that took them up to the appropriate floor.

 

They could hear everyone’s chatter as they approached from the hall that led its way into a large entertainment space. One of the things Darcy had been worried about after she purchased their costumes was if the party wasn’t super heavily themed. Like, if it had only been some cupcakes and a few decorations here and there,only to have her and Steve walk in in their over-the-top costumes, because that would have been majorly awkward. But then she heard that Tony was making a custom droid costume, and she felt a little more justified in her purchase.

 

To his credit, Tony spared no expense. The entire room looked like the famous cantina on Tatooine - minus the aliens. Well, all except for Thor, who was dressed as Obi Wan Kenobi? The big guy sure did like his robes.

 

The music was just loud enough for everyone to carry on a conversation comfortably. Even the large TV was playing the original movies with subtitles, so if anyone wanted to watch they could. The lighting was quite dim and perhaps that was why not one single person seemed to notice them as they entered to room.

 

“Come on.” Steve winked at her as he lead her further into the room, and straight to where Tony, Pepper, Jane, and Rhodey were standing.

 

Of course Tony was the one at the bar, though Darcy couldn’t help but be confused at the fact that he was dressed as C3P0. She figured if he was going to dress as a droid then he’d dress as a more assertive droid. And then she saw Pepper dressed as R2D2 and suddenly things made sense. It was actually a really creative R2D2 costume - the design elements of the sassy droid were printed on a dress that also lit up. It looked geeky and chic at the same time, and in all honesty fit Pepper’s style and personality to perfection.

 

Jane was dressed as Padmé which was also kinda perfect. Darcy did always tell her that she reminded her of Padmé. And of course, of course Rhodey was dressed as an X-wing pilot. It didn’t matter what galaxy that man was in, he was a pilot to the core.

 

Everyone was too busy listening to Tony, most of them sipping on whatever drink they held, to notice her and Steve until they were right next to them. And when they still didn’t say anything and still focused on what Tony was saying, she glanced at Steve, who glanced down at her with a suppressed smirk on his face.

 

The lighting from the bar was just enough to really catch every delicious muscle of Steve’s body that was exposed. Which was nearly all of them. Steve was also laying it on thick, standing less rigidly than he had a tendency to do, instead adopting a nice relaxed contrapposto stance, like he was some kind of living Greek statue. And quite frankly, she was really digging the vibe.

 

Darcy had become a bit lost in the way the fine hairs on Steve’s chest picked up the colored lights that created the ambiance of a proper space bar, and almost missed the subtle way that Tony shifted his focus over his group of listeners only to stumble over his words and do a double-take the moment he noticed her and Steve.

 

Well, mostly Steve.

 

Tony hadn’t been drinking anything, so he wasn’t able to spit out anything. But his eyes did nearly pop out of his head, and he tried to make words, though nothing came out, except unintelligible noises. He was not the kind of person that was easy to shut up, so when he still couldn’t utter anything, everyone else directed their focus to what had distracted him.

 

Rhodey was the one to spit out his drink, the only unfortunate side effect that it lead to a coughing fit.

 

Pepper just gawked with a soft, “Holy shit...”

 

Jane gave Steve a very appreciative once over and then looked to Darcy to say, “Congratulations on the...” She looked over Steve once more. “...wow...”

 

Steve glanced at Darcy with a raised brow. And it was a little hard to tell with the dim lighting, but it looked like his chest was a little flushed. It wasn’t like he’d never been ogled before. Hell, he’d told Darcy about how much he’d been the subject of women’s attentions since the serum. He’d admitted that it was a little jarring at first - that it was strange to go from invisible to the center of everyone’s attention like that. But spending so much time in tights and hot pants helped him get used to all the attention, as had the Captain America adverts and promotional stuff.

 

Even now, he was so used to attention and sexual interest in him from women and men that it usually didn’t faze him. But it was different coming from people he knew and considered friends. 

 

“Okay, cool your jets, science woman, you already have a freaking thunder god.”

 

“I know! I’m just...appreciating.”

 

“I can’t fault her that,” Pepper chimed in, looking a little flushed herself.

 

“I think you broke Tony,” Bruce said. He was wearing a Yoda hat with his normal button down and slacks. And he was right. Tony was now just kind of staring blankly, not even seeing anything, like his brain had short-circuited or something.

 

“I heard you guys were dressing as Han and Leia,” Natasha said to Darcy as she just happened to appear in the circle of others. They were all still trying not to, but were unable to not stare at Steve, who was doing his best to keep a serious look on his face. “Gotta be honest, though, I figured you’d be Leia.”

 

They were starting to draw a larger crowd. Bucky came over next, dressed as Luke Skywalker, which was kinda perfect between the arm and Natasha, who was dressed as Mara Jade.

 

“Oh look, it’s my twin.” Bucky said as he shook his head and laughed. “Gotta hand it to ya, punk. This does kinda out-do everyone else.”

 

“That was the idea,” Darcy teased with a wink.

 

Steve slipped his arm around her waist, pulling her into his side at the same time that Jane said, “It’s a good idea.”

 

“Oh my god, Jane!” Darcy exclaimed and rolled her eyes, then yelled out, “Thor! Your tiny scientist is eyeing my man!”

 

Thor edged into the group of Avengers and company. Bucky and Rhodey were having fun teasing Steve, in good nature, of course. Pepper and Natasha thought they were being discreet with their hushed conversation, but they weren’t really. And perhaps Natasha wasn’t really trying to hard either. She always did like to razz on Steve.

 

Tony, well...he was still staring forward, with his mouth hung open like it could catch flies. Darcy was starting to worry that the really did break him.

 

“Don’t worry, Tiny and Mighty Darcy.” Thor said as he patted her shoulder, the one that wasn’t tucked into Steve’s body. “She is merely appreciating Steven’s strong frame. As are most. He does have an admirable form.”

 

Darcy just gaped up at him. “Oh my god...not you too...”

 

She could feel Steve’s low chuckle through the vibrations of his chest, but Thor laughed full and heartily. “No, fierce one. I am very satisfied as it is. I would not steal your partner.”

 

Everyone’s reactions hadn’t been exactly what she’d expected - well, some were and some weren’t, and some were beyond anything she could have anticipated - and she couldn’t help but turn into Steve’s chest to hide her blush as she laughed. She could feel Steve’s arms around her and she basked in the comfort of his warmth.

 

She felt the heat from his hands on her bare midriff as he held her and he spoke lowly, just enough for her to hear. “Our plan worked.”

 

He was smiling down at her when she looked up and she kissed him...somewhat chastely...and pulled him away from the group. All the attention was starting to get a little overwhelming.

 

“A little too well!” She agreed.

 

“Well, we wanted to blow everyone’s minds.”

 

She snorted a laugh. “I think we riled up everyone’s libidos. Well...almost everyone. Pretty sure we broke Tony.”

 

“That might be the best part.” Steve admitted.

 

“Might be?”

 

“I was thinking. These little straps holding this thing together might not hold up.”

 

“Are you...” Her eyes were wide. “Babe, there is nothing between you and the air in this room except those little straps holding that thing together.”

 

He had a twinkle in his eye, the little shit.

 

“You sayin’ you won’t help me cover up?”

 

Before she could respond, Sam approached them then, dressed as Lando Calrissian, and pulling off the swagger with a little extra Sam sass. “Y’all two look like you are planning some shit. I should’ve known when you hooked up that we’d be stuck with two professional shit stirrers.”

 

“What makes you think we’re up to something?”

 

“Please. I spent how many years keeping up with your boy? I know when he’s up to shit.” Sam tried for an unamused look but failed and ended up looking amused anyway. “And I knew you were trouble the moment I met you. Before you and Captain Tiny Ass were a thing. I Thought to myself, she’s going to be Steve’s girl, and they are gonna get into some shit, just watch.”

 

Steve laughed, “C’mon, Sam, you like to stir shit too.”

 

“I like to know about the shit being stirred up, and then I’ll make an informed decision as to whether or not I take part in the shit.”

 

Darcy shook her head and giggled, “I gotta say, Sam, not sure you want to be part of the plan. It involves naked Steve.”

 

“He’s already almost there.”

 

Steve laughed, “Exactly.”

 

Sam just pointed at Steve. “All I’m gonna say is I don’t need to see your junk.”

 

“You aren’t being very authentically pansexual, Lando.” Darcy teased.

 

Sam grinned. “Nuh-uh, I don’t kiss and tell.”

 

“Right...Well, if you’re gonna be over here while we stir shit, at least be useful.” Steve looked between her and Sam with determination. “You got a pocket knife or something?”

 

“What?! Babe, this was expensive!” Darcy exclaimed in a harsh whisper. “I wanted to get more than one use out of it!”

 

“Whoa! Did not need to know that!”

 

Steve just chuckled, and took the pocket knife that Sam held out for him. “I’ll buy us a new one, doll.”

 

Sam shook his head and muttered as he walked away, “I do not need to know this much about your sex life, you weirdos.”

 

Darcy looked at Steve after Sam walked away. “I’m starting to think you have some exhibitionist tendencies.”

 

He had a very appealing twinkle in his eyes and he licked his lips before he flicked open the knife and slipped the blade between his skin and the gold band. It didn’t take much, especially for him. Just a flick of his wrist and the band snapped loose, causing the front of the costume to sag a bit and exposed some of the dark but still gold hairs at the base of his dick.

 

“Oh my god, Steve!” Darcy hissed as her hands went for the top edge of the bikini, doing their best to keep it from falling off any further.

 

Steve just laughed a low, sexy laugh and pulled her closer, then tucked the pocket knife in one of the pockets on her costume.

 

Her hands were still at his groin, trying to keep him concealed for the most part when she heard a faint, “Is that a naked ass?” from across the room. She wasn’t a hundred percent sure, but it sounded like Barton, just muffled.

 

But regardless of what she thought she heard, she was too focused on twisting herself around Steve - while still holding on to the front of the bikini - to see what had happened to the back of the bikini, only to discover that yes, there was indeed a naked ass. Steve’s naked ass. And her immediate reaction was to reach for as much of the draping fabric as she could to cover his ass. All the while, Steve was shaking with laughter.

 

And since she was pressed to his front, arms wrapped around him trying to keep him marginally covered, she could feel his cock. He was enjoying himself very much.

 

“You are not getting hard now?” she admonished.

 

“I can’t help feelin’ a...”

 

“Oh no you don’t, mister! You freed yourself to naked glory!”

 

“Sweetheart, I was feelin’ a way when we got me into this thing.”

 

Their playful bicker-banter was interrupted when they heard, “Lil Spark? Is that you? I dunno how Steve’s gonna feel about you feelin’ up on another dude.”

 

Clint Barton was definitely there. And he was drawing a lot of attention towards them.

 

“And just so you know, you guys didn’t have to hire a stripper. If I had known it was that kind of party, I would’ve worn less,” Clint said as he pulled off his Boba Fett helmet.

 

He nearly dropped it, though, when Steve looked over his shoulder and Clint realized there wasn’t actually a stripper, “The fuck...who gave Steve the space booze?”

 


End file.
